Fear: Is Fear All In The Mind?

It is often said that human beings can allow their life to be defined by love or fear, and while one is often seen as destructive and the other is often seen as constructive, they both have a purpose. However, problems will arise when someone allows their life to be defined by fear.

Another approach would be to say that love is the answer, and how one's life would be fine if they allowed love to be their guide as opposed to fear. Yet, although this can sound right, it doesn't mean that it is always the best approach.

This would be the same as saying sitting down all the time is unhealthy, and that one should exercise everyday. Clearly, sitting down all day is not good for one's health, but exercising everyday is not necessarily going to be the best option either.

From One Extreme to the Other

If one was an athlete, and needed to prepare for a competition, it might be important for them to train every day. But at the same time, they will also need to have time off in order to allow their body to heal.

It might not be easy for someone to realise this if they have spent their whole life avoiding exercise. Based on what they have been doing, it could seem like the right option to take.

Guidance

In this case, one is going to be aware of how they might be setting themselves up to have physical problems in the long run. The signs may be there already, but all the time they believe that they only have two options; it is going to affect their ability to listen to their body.

Just as if one was to believe that there is either love or fear, it is going to stop them from realising that each side has a purpose. And how fear itself is not the problem; what is the problem is when it takes over.

Love

When one comes from a place of love it is going to allow them to open them up to life, and to see that there are many possibilities. If, on the other hand, they come from a place of fear, they are going to be closed off to life, and they won't be able to see the possibilities that are available.

However, there are going to be times when it will be important for one to close off, and while it will limit their possibilities; it will be in their best interests. This doesn't mean that one will stay closed forever, what it means is that there will be times in their life where they need to protect themselves.

Example

If one was in a relationship that is unhealthy, it may be important for them to walk away and to withdraw their love. The fear that one experiences in this situation is not just the result of the thoughts in their head, it is based on the reality of the situation.

While they could have ignored the fear that they were experiencing, it would have only caused them more harm. In this case, their need to love the other person has taken a back seat, and the fear within them has defined their actions.

Assistance

Once they are no longer with the other person, it should be possible for them to open their heart once more and for their body to settle down. One has then been assisted by their fear, and it hasn't been something that has had a destructive impact on their life.

It could also be said that while one wasn't expressing love towards the other person, they were expressing it to themselves. This would mean that love and fear have worked together, and this has allowed them to stay in balance.

Out of Control

When someone is unable to move forward because of how much fear they are experiencing, it shows that they are out of balance. They are not being assisted by their fear; it has taken over their life.

This is not something that has to relate to every area of their life either; as if it only relates to one area it can still have a big impact. So the sooner one is able to see through their fear, the better their life will be.

It's all in the Mind

If they were to do their own research or to speak to someone else, they may end up hearing that it is ‘all in the mind'. This could be something they are familiar with, or it may be something they have heard for the first time.

Based on this, it will be important for them to change their thinking, and put their fear to one side. They might hear that the more they face their fear, the easier it will be for them to take action regardless of how they feel.

Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway

One can then come to the conclusion that the best approach is for them to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway'. For if they don't do this, it will just get stronger, and this will make it harder for them to take action.

And as it is ‘all in the mind', there is no reason why this wouldn't be the right approach to take. However, what if it isn't ‘all in the mind', and what if it can relate to what is taking place in the body?

Two Ways

To say that fear is all in the mind is the same as saying one's mind defines how they feel. While it can sound accurate, it is not the complete truth; it is a half truth.

Therefore, although what is taking place in their mind can cause their body to experience fear, this doesn't mean that this is always the case. Instead, the fear in their body can end up causing them to have a fearful outlook.

Trauma

The fear in their body is likely to have been caused by trauma, and while this may have been a one-off experience, it could relate to a number of experiences. These could be experiences that one has had in their adult years and/or they could go back to their childhood.

If it relates to something that happened during their adult years, it might be possible for them to remember, whereas, if it is due to what happened during their childhood, they might not remember. This could relate to some kind of accident or to abuse that they have experienced.

Retraumatise

While it would be easy for someone who is carrying trauma to come to the conclusion that they need to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway', this could cause them to be retraumatised. Now, this is not to say that they should allow their life to be defined by fear, what it means is that they may need to take a different approach.

If one is carrying trauma and they believe that is ‘all in the mind', they can end up forming an outlook that doesn't match up with reality. For example, they could believe that the reason they don't take action is because they are weak or lack courage, and not realise that it has nothing to do these factors and everything to do with the trauma within them.

Awareness

When an approach is positioned as being the only way, it is to be expected that some people will end up being sent down the wrong path. What works for one person might not work for someone else, and this is why it is important for one to listen to themselves.

Just because one approach is popular or is promoted by an ‘expert', it doesn't mean it is the right option for everyone. And if one is carrying trauma, it will be important for them to seek professional help.

Article Source:Fear: Is Fear All In The Mind?

Self-Made: Is Anyone Self-Made?

While one may have only heard the term 'self-made' recently, that doesn't mean it is something that has been created within the past few years. It is a term that has been around for many, many years and the word 'man' is often added at the end.

In today's world, it not just something a man can use to describe himself, it is also something a woman can use. What this comes down to is that women are more empowered than they were in the past and there are more opportunities for them to fulfil their needs.

In The Shadows

They no longer need to stay in the shadows and to watch men achieve what they want to achieve. This is not to say that every country in the world is the same; as there are some countries that are still stuck in the past.

However, there is a clear difference in the west when it comes to how women were treated in the past and how they are treated now. This doesn't mean women are always treated as they want to be treated, but then again, neither are men.

Success

If one was to think about people who are successful, there is a strong chance that they won't just think about men. Whether one was to think about the people they know or the people they see in the public eye, they are likely to think about people from each gender.

What one person classes as success is not necessarily the same as another, but this is not going to mean that a certain type of success is only experienced by one gender. It won't matter what one classes as success; as there will be people out there from both genders who match up with their definition.

In The Beginning

When it comes to what someone has achieved, they may have come from nothing or they may have started off with a silver spoon in their mouth. If one started off with a silver spoon in their mouth, it is not going to be possible for them to say they are self-made.

To say such a thing would show they are not only lying to others, they are also lying to themselves. From the very beginning, the support they needed was with them and they didn't need to struggle by themselves.

Support

This doesn't mean that one didn't have to do anything and that everything was done for them, but it would have made their life easier. One wouldn't have had to look outside of their family for money or resources, as this would have been provided.

But even if one wasn't born with a silver spoon in their mouth, it doesn't mean they had to do it all by themselves. If the financial support wasn't there, it could have meant that one was supported in others ways.

Guidance

In the beginning of their life, they may have been given the guidance that they needed in order to learn a certain skill. Through being mentored by a member of their family, one would have been able to develop the ability to do something.

If they were unable to show one what they wanted to learn, they may have taken them to someone who could show them. This would have allowed one to gradually develop themselves.

Self-Made

When it comes to someone who classes themselves as self-made, they are likely to say that their life didn't start out this way. There wouldn't have been any financial support and neither would there have been any kind of guidance.

As these two factors were missing, one would have been the one who pushed themselves forward. It may have taken a while for them to get to where they wanted to be and this could be because the beginning of their life was a time where they lacked a sense of purpose.

Proud

So whether one had to wait until they were older or took their life into their own hands at a young age, they are likely to feel a sense of pride. They might reflect on the fact that not only have they achieved something; they have also done it without needing anyone else.

Now, the people around them may validate this outlook or they may find it hard to believe how they have done everything by themselves. It is clear that one had to take the initiative, as what they needed wasn't handed to them on plate, but at the same time, this doesn't mean they were not assisted in other ways.

Assistance

It wouldn't have been possible for them to sit around and for everything to fall into their lap, but if it wasn't for the people who have assisted them along the way, they wouldn't be the person they are today. One is an interdependent human being and this means they need other people.

This assistance could have come about through reading books, having different mentors, speaking to people and taking courses, among others things. Each of these factors (along with many others) will have played a part in who one has become and what they have achieved.

Actors

When one watches a film, they can come to the conclusion that it is all about the actors. As these are the people who one sees on the big screen, this is to be expected. Yet, if it wasn't for everyone else who has played a part in the creation of the film, the actor's wouldn't be able to do what they do.

This shows it is not about one actor or a number of them; it is about a whole team of people. If an actor came out and said it is all about them and they are the ones who made the film what it is, they would end up being described as deluded. 

The Illusion

However, when people come out and say that they are self-made in daily life, they are often believed. This allows them to maintain the illusion that they are where they are because of their efforts alone and not because of how other people have assisted them along the way

Article source - http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/self-made-is-anyone-self-made