10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

We all make mistakes but the people who thrive from their mistakes are the successful ones.

Dr. Henry Cloud

“Never go back.” What does that mean? From observations of successful people, clinical psychologist and author of Never Go Back: 10 Things You'll Never Do Again (Howard Books, June 2014), Dr. Henry Cloud has discovered certain “awakenings” that people have—in life and in business—that once they have them, they never go back to the old way of doing things. And when that happens, they are never the same. In short, they got it.

“Years ago, a bad business decision of mine led to an interesting discussion with my mentor,” Dr. Cloud says. “I had learned a valuable lesson the hard way, and he reassured me: ‘The good thing is once you learn that lesson, you never go back. You never do it again.’

“I wondered, what are the key awakenings that successful people go through that forever change how they do things, which propel them to succeed in business, relationships, and life? I began to study these awakenings, researching them over the years.”

Although life and business have many lessons to teach us, Dr. Cloud observed 10 “doorways” of learning that high performers go through, never to return again.

Successful people never again…

1. Return to what hasn’t worked. Whether a job, or a broken relationship that was ended for a good reason, we should never go back to the same thing, expecting different results, without something being different.

2. Do anything that requires them to be someone they are not. In everything we do, we have to ask ourselves, “Why am I doing this? Am I suited for it? Does it fit me? Is it sustainable?” If the answer is no to any of these questions, you better have a very good reason to proceed.

3. Try to change another person. When you realize that you cannot force someone into doing something, you give him or her freedom and allow them to experience the consequences. In doing so, you find your own freedom as well.

4. Believe they can please everyone. Once you get that it truly is impossible to please everyone, you begin to live purposefully, trying to please the right people.

5. Choose short-term comfort over long-term benefit. Once successful people know they want something that requires a painful, time-limited step, they do not mind the painful step because it gets them to a long-term benefit. Living out this principle is one of the most fundamental differences between successful and unsuccessful people, both personally and professionally.

6. Trust someone or something that appears flawless. It’s natural for us to be drawn to things and people that appear "incredible." We love excellence and should always be looking for it. We should pursue people who are great at what they do, employees who are high performers, dates who are exceptional people, friends who have stellar character, and companies that excel. But when someone or something looks too good to be true, he, she, or it is. The world is imperfect. Period. No one and no thing is without flaw, and if they appear that way, hit pause.

7. Take their eyes off the big picture. We function better emotionally and perform better in our lives when we can see the big picture. For successful people, no one event is ever the whole story. Winners remember that – each and every day.

8. Neglect to do due diligence. No matter how good something looks on the outside, it is only by taking a deeper, diligent, and honest look that we will find out what we truly need to know: the reality that we owe ourselves.

9. Fail to ask why they are where they find themselves. One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is that in love and in life, in relationships and in business, successful people always ask themselves, what part am I playing in this situation? Said another way, they do not see themselves only as victims, even when they are.

10. Forget that their inner life determines their outer success. The good life sometimes has little to do with outside circumstances. We are happy and fulfilled mostly by who we are on the inside. Research validates that. And our internal lives largely contribute to producing many of our external circumstances.

And, the converse is true: people who are still trying to find success in various areas of life can almost always point to one or more of these patterns as a reason they are repeating the same mistakes.

Everyone makes mistakes…even the most successful people out there. But, what achievers do better than others is recognize the patterns that are causing those mistakes and never repeat them again. In short, they learn from pain—their own and the pain of others.

A good thing to remember is this: pain is unavoidable, but repeating the same pain twice, when we could choose to learn and do something different, is certainly avoidable. I like to say, “we don’t need new ways to fail….the old ones are working just fine!” Our task, in business and in life, is to observe what they are, and never go back to doing them again.

Article source: 10 Things Successful People Never Do Again

Busy or Productive? Here's 15 Differences

Busy people drive me crazy. The whirlwind of their lives, at work and at home, reminds me of a hover craft or a hydrofoil boat – never touching the ground or the water. It’s as if they have permanent ADHD with no medication, and that impairment forces more and more activity just for activity’s sake. Productive people, on the other hand exude a calm determination. They seem to know “where they are going” and how they are going to get there, and their race is slow and steady, like the proverbial tortoise who wins the race. And what does winning the race look like? It looks like “results.” It’s easy to identify busy and productive people by these following 15 behaviors.

THE TASKS THAT ARE CHOSEN

• Busy people take on any and all tasks, because they want and need to look like they always have a “job” to do. These tasks are rarely interconnected nor do they serve some larger goal. The goals are the tasks themselves.
• Productive people are selective about tasks. They have long-term plans and goals, and they select tasks that serve those plans and those goals. If the productive person decides that s/he wishes to move from a sales position to an IT position within an organization, then the tasks that are chosen will serve that goal – additional classes, exploration of methods by which salespeople can better use technology, etc.

DEFINITION OR PRODUCTIVITY

• Busy people equate time spent with productivity. Thus, if they stay late, “push more paper,” and keep a rapid pace, they are productive
• Productive people equate results with productivity. It is never how many tasks were completed; it is always about how the tasks that were selected achieved a goal. If, for example, a company is not getting its product out to customers in a timely manner, the busy person will drop everything, run down to the loading docks, and “crack the whip” to make the warehouse people work faster. S/he may even pitch in with the truck loading as well. The productive person will study the logistics of the warehouse-to-loading and devise a better system.

USE OF RESOURCES

• The busy person will work harder with the resources s/he has, never stopping to think if there are better resources that could be acquired and used.
• The productive person will look at current resources and try to find better ones, in order to improve task efficiency – perhaps a new software program or app.

SAYING “NO”

• Busy people never say “no.” they simply take on more and more, until they are so scattered trying to do everything, that nothing is done well. They exhaust themselves in the process.
• Productive people say “no” a great deal of the time. They refuse to take their focus off of what they have prioritized as important. A busy person will drop everything when a friend calls with a request, even if it means giving up the one evening this week s/he may have to spend with family. The productive person will say “no” because that one evening is a priority.

PRIORITIES

• Busy people identify everything as a priority, so many, in fact, that they cannot keep track of or manage them. The result is that they forget things, miss appointments, and disappoint all of those people they keep saying “yes” to.
• Productive people identify far fewer priorities – no more than they can manage at one time. Thus, they do not forget things, do not miss appointments, and do not disappoint those people they said “no” to.

EVENINGS

• Busy people are on the go until they collapse into bed at night, completely exhausted. They awake to begin the frenetic pace all over again – no overall plan – just “do.”
• Productive people plan for “down time” before bed – time to reflect on the day and to plan for tomorrow. They wake with their plans in place for the day, with a clear idea of what is to be accomplished.

MULTI-TASKING

• Busy people believe that multi-tasking is a great skill, and they practice it daily. What happens, ultimately, is that no one task really gets done well. Everything is either only partially poorly done.
acceleratedrightnow.com
• Productive people have learned the importance of the old adage, “one potato at a time – that’s all you can plant and that’s all you can harvest.” They begin a task and focus only at it until it is completed.

INTERRUPTIONS

• Busy people allow, and perhaps even welcome, interruptions – they take phone calls in the middle of important things; they check their email every 30 minutes; they pick up that phone every time it pings a text; and they let other people interrupt them too. Every interruption means focus is lost, and it takes time to re-focus.
• Productive people don’t allow interruptions. They check email at the end of the day; they don’t take phone calls or respond to texts; and they do not allow others to interrupt their focus.

BRAIN SHUT DOWN

• Busy people do not shut down their brains from the time they awake until they go to sleep at night. The problem then becomes that sleep is elusive. Lack of sleep results in poor productivity the next day.
• Productive people understand that they have to shut down down their brains for brief periods during the day – they meditate; they get some physical exercise; they watch a silly television show. These things allow more restful sleep and a more productive next day.

TASKS OR OPPORTUNITIES

• Busy people see tasks and activities as “chores” to get done. They don’t enjoy, they just “do.”
• Productive people see tasks as opportunities – opportunities to get results. This is because they pick and choose and select those tasks that bring results. They enjoy what they do.

JUDGING OTHERS

• Busy people de-value others who do not “look” and behave as they do. This is particularly true of supervisors and managers who are busy people themselves. They see the more methodical individual who may take time to think or to re-charge as unproductive.
• Productive people only judge by results and they do not micro-manage their subordinates by observing their on and off-task behaviors.

TIME

• Busy people complain about having too little time to get everything done during their waking hours. And amidst all of the complaining they take on even more tasks because they cannot say “no.” The result is more activity and no results.
• Productive people make time for those things that fit their priorities and do not engage in “time-killing” activities which, in the long-term are meaningless.

TALK

• Busy people spend a lot of time talking about how busy they are. This, of itself, is a time-waster, and is usually meant to gain sympathy or to place oneself in a martyr role. They insist that they want to change things, to be less busy, but then the next request or activity comes along, and they are “on it!”
• Productive people are actively “doing” according to their plans. They don’t talk about how hard or much they are working. They focus on the touchdown, get there, take time to enjoy that moment, and then move forward.

STUFF

• Busy people keep adding “stuff” because that is their reward for all of the work they do. The harder they work and the more money they make, the more they can accumulate.
• Productive people keep subtracting stuff as they move forward. They have certain “stuff” that is important, and the rest becomes rather meaningless. As they “let go,” they experience even more freedom.

Article source: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/busy-or-productive-heres-15-differences

Success Habit: Working with an Accountability Partner

Sometimes we are more successful meeting commitments to others than to ourselves. This fact is the basis of what is known as using an accountability partner. 

What an Accountability Partner is Not

An accountability partner is not a boss. Such a person does not pay us or reward us. We pay and reward ourselves for satisfying the commitment. Nor does our partner punish us. An accountability partner does not tell us what to do.

Accountability is not mentorship; while a mentor could be our partner, the two functions are separate. An accountability partner does not give advice or counsel, nor do they analyze or critique our performance.

What an Accountability Partner Is

An accountability partner is someone who agrees to help us by listening and tracking our commitments. Such a person is acting in a neutral mode, neither praising nor criticizing our behavior. They are simply tracking our results.

To use such a person correctly, we meet them on a periodic basis. Every time we meet our partner, we tell them what we plan to do, and when we plan to get those goals accomplished. The partner makes a record of those commitments. Then, when we meet again, we inform him or her of our results. The partner makes sure to cover all the commitments that have been previously made. The partner then informs us as to how well we are meeting our commitments.

The power of such a relationship is based upon the human desire for respect. The best person for this role is someone whose respect you desire to either get or keep. By meeting our commitments, we can gain that respect, which is our reward.

Why an Accountability Partnership Works

Often, people are more responsible meeting commitments to others than to themselves. After all, if we are committing to just ourselves, we as humans can be very good at making excuses and justifying not reaching the goal. We use our schedules, our work, our relationships as excuses and explanations for why we did not achieve our goals. But when we make that commitment to someone else, we do not want to make those same excuses; it makes us sound weak and ineffectual, which is not the image we want the other person to have.

Accountability partners are not necessary or required. People can hold themselves accountable to themselves, and eliminate the use of the other person. However, especially when making a fundamental change, having someone else in the process can be very inspiring. Making a commitment to someone else can help us learn to be consistent and persistent, which are traits we need to reach our goals.

If you are interested in having an accountability partner, trying being one for someone else. This will almost always inspire someone to serve you in the same way.

Article source http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/success-habit-working-with-an-accountability-partner